Fighting Your Fear Factor

Just like love and passion, fear is an emotion that is necessary in life.  No one is immune from encountering some sort of fear.  The types of fears that you allow in your life, however, may be preventing you from doing the things that you really want to do.  These fears are unhealthy fears and most of us have probably been carrying them around for so long that we don’t even acknowledge their presence anymore.

Eliminating every fear that you have is improbable and most likely impossible.  Even if it were possible it would probably be a bad idea since there is such a thing as a healthy fear.  The fight or flight reaction to a dangerous situation has been given to humans as a way to protect us from danger.   Healthy fears are the fears that help us react to a dangerous situation.  But when I talk about your fear factor, I’m not talking about getting rid of healthy fears.  I’m talking about limiting the effects an unhealthy fear has in your life.

The Fear

Fear is a complex and powerful emotion.  The brain with its billions of nerve endings, sends signals to the body and the body reacts to the fear.  A phobia is a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

While researching for this post I found so many phobias it blew my mind.  I also found in inconsistency as to what the single most common phobia is.  But these are the ones I found that were listed as among top phobias that people live with.

Arachnophobia-Fear of Spiders.

Social Phobia- the fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.

Demophobia - fear of being in crowded places

Claustrophobia-Fear of being trapped in small confined spaces.

Acrophobia-fear of heights

Mysophobia - fear of germs or dirt

There is a phobia for just about every person, place, or thing you can imagine.  Although these types of fears are easy to identify, some everyday fears that you experience may go unnoticed.  Do you have a fear of change, a fear of rejection, or a fear of failure?  Most people live with these types of fears their entire lives and never think twice about them.  What I’m presenting to you is the idea that your common everyday fears create a wall between you and where you want to be.

Your fear of change could be stopping you from leaving bad situation at your job.  Your fear of rejection may be stopping you from pursuing that perfect relationship.  Your fear of failure could be preventing you from starting your own business.  Let’s take a look at how your fear could be preventing your success. 

The Factor

The feeling of fear can be crippling, but the effects of fear can be devastating.  When someone’s fear factor is high, they allow that fear to guide them through life.  It is almost like the fear is making the decisions not the person.  Those who allow the fear to consume their thoughts and run their lives are not only missing opportunities, they are also doing themselves harm by allowing the fear to reside and govern the way they operate on a day to day basis.There is a difference in the types of fears that human experience. 

If you are on a rollercoaster and at the end of the ride your heart is pumping and your adrenalin is rushing, this type of fear is harmless in most cases.  However, living with long term anxiety and phobias can be more harmful.  So the best thing to do for yourself is to find a way to overcome your fear or at least find a way to limit its effect on you so that you can function in situations where you would usually panic.

Fight the Factor

Isolating the fear

Most people can generalize their everyday fears but have little knowledge of how much their fears have impacted their lives.  Identifying the hang-up that debilitates your chances of success is a major step towards reducing the factor of that fear.  Is the reason you haven’t done the things you should do in order to succeed someone else’s fault or because of your fear?

Being afraid can sometimes cause a person to act irrationally.  When someone is not successful at something and it is because of fear, that person is susceptible to not taking responsibility and instead blaming everyone and everything around them.  You’d be surprised how often I encourage someone to do something that I know they are capable of doing and the response I get back is.

“Yeah, I know but…..”

The truth is the “but” is nothing more than a scapegoat for the fear that is controlling that person’s decisions.  The best thing to do if you are in this situation is to isolate your fear and understand your reasons for harboring that fear.

Best Case Scenario/ Worst Case Scenario  

There are some logical explanations for some fears.  I remember when I was about 4 I was bitten by a dog.  For years I was afraid of dogs whether they were big or small.  I recall becoming nervous if I went to a friend’s house that had a pet dog.  It wasn’t until I was about 9 years old that I felt like being afraid of something that happened years ago and that hadn’t happened since, shouldn’t effect what I’m doing now. 

Slowly I began to take steps to remove my fear of dogs or at least minimize it so I didn’t look like a coward when one was around.  Once I understood that the majority of animals can sense your intentions by your body language and voice tone, I started to speak in a louder deeper voice when I felt like a dog had crossed my comfort zone and I started watching my body language so the dog doesn’t see me as a threat.  Before I knew it I could easily handle interacting and playing with dogs. I had to keep reminding myself that the dog bite was years ago and that the worst that could happen is another dog bite.    

 Your unhealthy fears usually revolve around things that you can’t control or things that haven’t happen yet.  In a situation where you want to take action towards your success, ask yourself “what is the worst thing that could happen, and what is the best thing that can happen?”  This is the moment when you decide first, if the risk is worth the reward and second, if you will let your fear run your life. 

Familiar with your Fear

One of the things about the human brain is its ability to adapt to what is familiar.  Let’s look at the rollercoaster example again.  One of my favorite rides is the Spider-Man ride at Universal Studios.  This is not a scary ride by any stretch of the imagination but it has thrills attached to it.  When I first rode this adventure ride, it was amazing and spectacular.  All the turns and special effects made for an exciting experience.  I rode that ride at least 25 times.  The one thing I notice when I was repeatedly taking the ride is that my body, in anticipation to a turn or drop, leaned in the direction that the coaster car was going to move. 

After a while I wouldn’t even flinch when a sudden jerk or spin would occur.  It became very easy for me to tell which of the other people who were riding in the car with me were new to the coaster.  They would be the one screaming and laughing hysterically.  Why?  Because they were unfamiliar with the ride and what was going to happen.

Your ability to become familiar with your fear and the feelings it causes you to experience, will help you better react despite the circumstance.  Think about it, the fact that I was in control enough in the rollercoaster car to notice what everyone else was feeling means that the atmosphere had little effect on me.  The reason the atmosphere had little effect on me, was because of my familiarity to the situation.  The more you are the familiar with how you’ll react with your fear, the better you can determine how to alter your reaction.  It is possible to still feel the fear (just like I felt the car bumping and turning) but the effects of it won’t be as influential.

Screw it, just do it

There’s no long paragraph explanation for this one.  You are all intelligent people.  You want to take control of your fear, take action.  You know what you have to do.  Do it!