What is the difference between someone who is a
champion and someone who is the runner-up? What makes someone able to
look an impossible situation in the face and willingly conquer it?
It’s the same thing that Super Bowl MVP’s, successful
CEO’s, and leaders of all types posses. It is something that you
should posses! It may be the one factor that determines whether your
goals are realized or not.
In all of my years in school, I don’t think
that there was any course that specifically taught me how to be
mentally tough. Those who play competitive sports may understand mental
toughness more than those who do not play sports but just because you
played a sport, does not make you mentally tough. Here I will breakdown
what mental toughness is and the benefits of having it. Then I will lay
out all of the ways you can become mentally tough and thus dramatically
increasing your chances of success.
Mental Toughness
I’ve been looking for the perfect definition for mental
toughness but there seems to be a slight discrepancy on what it
actually means to be mentally tough. I found a few decent definitions
but most of them dealt exclusively with athletics. But since I am
convinced that mental toughness is necessary in order to overachieve in
many other parts of your life, this is the way I’d like you to
understand what mental toughness is.
Mental
Toughness- Having a physiological edge that enables you to be
consistent, confident, focused, and determined during high pressure
situations in order to perform at maximum potential.
Listen to me people, you need to have this. People might think that
this is a skill or trait that someone is born with. I don’t
believe that entirely. I’m leaning more towards the idea that
some learn how to be mentally tough earlier than others but I stand by
the notion that this skill can be learned. It is not an easy attribute
to acquire however, that’s why so many people don’t have it
but trust me it is well worth the work. Just imagine the advantages of
being tough minded.
-Excel during high stress and pressure situations
-Have a mental advantage over competitors
-Being able to bounce back quickly after a setback
-Produce results even when the likelihood of success is low
-Be unshakable through most any circumstance
More specifically, here are some scenarios when being mentally tough comes in handy
-Your business or investment has been failing
-You have received a bad management and/or peer review at your job
-Everything at the party/wedding/gathering that could go wrong,
has gone wrong
-You’ve been assigned to work with a group of people that you do not get along with
-You just got fired
-You have to speak in front of a small or large audience
-You are way behind on a project and the deadline is fast approaching
You will come across something this week where your mental toughness will be tested.
Characteristics of Mental Toughness
Those
who are strong minded are not hard to spot. True mental toughness,
however is sometimes hard to find. There are many characteristics that
a person may possess that may mimic the characteristics of a mentally
strong person. If someone is stubborn, opinionated, outspoken, bossy,
or demanding some might see them as strong minded and may confuse that
with toughness. Toughness is not usually seen in the actions of a
person, rather in the reaction of that person.
You
might know a person who seems to be a rock mentally. This person seems
to know what they want and know how to get it. Not only that, they have
an answer to every question, an opinion for every topic, and an idea
for every circumstance. That may seem to be the formula for success in
the mind, but what happens when something goes wrong? Or a plan or
project fails over and over and over again? This is where those who are
mentally tough strive and excel. There are six major characteristics of
mental toughness
-Confidence
-Focus
-Motivation
-Courage
-Composure
-Resiliency
Confidence
Having the belief in yourself may increase your mental toughness if
applied correctly. If you believe in your ability to succeed, then you
are preparing yourself for success and bracing yourself in case of
obstacles.
Focus
When a person cannot stay focused it is easy for them to mentally
collapse in high pressure situations. The ability to concentrate on the
task at hand and stay focused on that task is an unbelievably important
skill that many cannot seem master.
Motivation
Have you ever been really excited about a goal and then weeks later you
lose your excitement? Of course you have, everyone has. Finding
motivation is easy, keeping motivation is a challenge. Motivation ties
in closely with focus because the majority of lost motivation stems
from the lack of or a shift in focus. In situations when the climb is
uphill, motivation, focus, and resiliency should be your best friends.
Courage
Remember that being courageous is not being fearless; rather it
is having fear but acting as if you don’t. Acts of courage are
usually accompanied by a mountain of fear but a courageous person will
do what they have to do in order to get done that which has to get done.
Composure
Roget’s New Millennium Dictionary Thesaurus has a lot of
good synonyms for composure such as self-possession, coolness,
equanimity and control. They have fortitude listed but I think that has
more to do with strength and endurance than it does composure.
Resiliency
It doesn’t matter how confident, focused, motivated, courageous,
or composed you are, if you do not see your goal to the end then it may
turn out to be pointless. Being resilient is pushing through until you
reach your destination.
Developing Mental Toughness
Seeing point A and getting to point B
Now
you should be ready to develop mental toughness and also reap the
benefits of having it. I strongly believe that the mind is the most
complex and advanced computer the world will ever see. It does what it
is programmed to do. What your brain is now is what you have already
programmed it to be. You must be aware of how you will react in
situation where your mental strength may be tested. In sports,
it’s knowing how to react when your opponent is stronger,
smarter, faster, than you are. In business it’s knowing what to
do when your employees come up short of your expectations, your
deadlines are not going to get met, and profits are way down. In your
personal life it’s knowing how to deal with heartbreak, handle
those who try to con or take advantage of you, and assert yourself in
order to project the image of the person you want to be.
This
starts with programming the mind to do what you want it to do in those
situations. Begin to understand the best possible action or reaction
for a circumstance that will require you being mentally tough. I
suggest writing down how you would usually react in those situations, then
writing down how you would like to react in those situations. See the
difference? The shortest distance from point A to point B is a straight
line. Start focusing on point B which is how you want to react until
you begin to feel like you can react that way. Run the scenarios in
your mind and you will begin to feel more comfortable in your new mind.
Small Steps
Before you can run you need to crawl. Every opportunity that you
miss to strengthen your mindset is a step backwards. Be on the lookout
for ways that you are acting mentally weak throughout your day. Chances
are your actions and reactions are habits that must be broken. Put in
place a small goal or challenge for yourself in order for you to test
your toughness. It is very important that you set groundbreaking yet
viable challenges or else the exercise is useless. Do this on a daily
basis and you’ll begin to notice that the test will begin to
become bigger and more challenging. The reason for this is because
those small steps are becoming larger steps and your mental toughness
is growing. Don’t stop, keep testing and challenging yourself.
Practice Composure
I hate being nervous. Nervousness is one of the more uncomfortable
feelings a person can experience. The tougher you are mentally, the
less nervous you will become. People who are constantly nervous are
allowing outside circumstances to determine their mood and the outcome
of their situation. Now think about it. Once you have composure and are
in control of yourself, you can then move on to controlling your
situation. I can’t stress enough how important of a skill
this is to learn and master. In fact, I think I’ll do some
research on it and write a post sometime in October. For now, the best
way I’ve found to staying calm and keeping your composure is to
practice calming yourself and preparing yourself for high stress
situations. Make sure you do this exercise as if it were a real life
situation so that you are more equipped to handle the real thing.
Bounce Back Quickly
“Obstacles can be discouraging and can create the feeling
of failure. Once that feeling is there you may entertain thoughts of
giving up the journey. In order for you to bounce back quickly you must
prepare yourself for these obstacles internally and externally. Do all
that you can to prevent these setbacks from happening but if they do
happen, remind yourself of your goal. Surround yourself with positive
people who will encourage you when you are tempted to give up. Keep
motivational materials around also. Posting motivational quotes or
reading success stories may give you that recharge that you need to
keep you going.The quicker you bounce back the quicker you will reach your
goal.”
This is a segment from another article I wrote and I think
it works perfectly in building mentally toughness. Take initiative,
take control If you’ve dealt with the nervousness issue this
shouldn’t be that hard. If you’ve practiced composure then
your mind should be clearer and you should be able to think straight.
The clearer your thoughts, the better your decision making will be. At
first you may be hesitant to take control if you are not accustom to
doing so. But building toughness is like building muscle, you have to
work at it in order to make it stronger.
Look out for opportunities to take control of a situation. Look out for
opportunities to do something that requires you to be in control even
if it’s something that you’ve never done before. If you are
already mentally tough, raise the bar and set a long term challenge
that will test the stamina of your toughness.
At the end of Michael Jordan’s career there was almost no
question that he was the best player in NBA history. Wilt Chamberlain
who played in the ‘60s and ‘70s had a marvelous career and
scored more points in his career than Jordan did. Wilt even scored 100
points in a game. But when it was all said and done, Jordan was still
seen as the greatest. Why? As one analyst pointed out Jordan had an
amazing ability to excel his performance in a clutch situation.
Mentally, he intimidated his opponents, and was never intimidated by
his opponents. His tough mindedness made the difference in his life and
it can make the difference in yours. If you found this helpful send it to a friend
or you can use one of these to spread the word.
