So you want
to be one of those people who seem to get noticed wherever they go? You
want to have an invisible magnetic attraction that can be felt? You
want to come across as confident, cool and in control whether you are
in front of an audience or walking down the street? Then you want
presence.
In Be a Presence pt 1 and An Even BIGGER Presence
, I covered voice, walking into a room, and many other things you can
do to increase your presence so if you haven’t read those I
suggest you go back and take a look at them. For social or business,
having a presence is a great advantage. Performers who are able to
project their presence to the audience are always viewed as more
entertaining, confident and captivating. Wouldn’t it be nice if
you could take that amazing ability to draw attention with you in your
everyday life? Some people do and so can you.
Second Skin
In the first Be a
Presence… I talked about creating an image and projecting the
kind of presence you want others to pick up. One way (but certainly not
the only way) is to be aware of the way you dress. Your clothes are
your second skin. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they
dress and you tell people a lot about yourself by the way you dress.
Animals in this world use their skin, fur, and feathers to tell other
animals about themselves. Brightly colored snakes are warning possible
predators that they are poisonous, porcupines use their spiked fur to
deter attacks, and peacocks use their tail feathers to attract a mate.
But unlike those
animals, we humans have the choice to change our second skin in order
to project what we want to tell others about ourselves. The presence
you want to present should be reinforced by your second skin. Want to
be seen as extroverted, fun, and outgoing, then your clothes should
show that. If you want to be viewed as credible, professional, and
poised then your cloths should speak the same language. Remember that
your look and clothes are not what give you presence but it will
definitely add to your presence if chose the right clothes for you.
Peacock-Do
not be afraid of using the peacock approach to enhance your presence.
Wearing a few bright colors or a unique article of clothing is a good
way to get noticed. It is very possible to go overboard with this but
if done right, you will send a message that you have the confidence to
wear something that will get attention. A big part of having a presence
is confidence, so wearing colors or a style that other people may be
afraid to wear is an excellent way of standing out. Find the right
color for your skin tone and switch it up from time to time.
Like a Glove-Everybody
should have at least two outfits that are tailored or that fit like
they are. A sharp, polished look is always attractive especially if it
fits like it was made for you. Clothing manufactures cut their garments
differently. This is why a large t-shirt made by Ralph Laruen may fit
differently than one made by Hanes. Having an outfit tailored so that
it fits you perfectly in the shoulders, chest, waist, and is the right
length, is an absolute great way to enhance your look.
Fit the Occasion-
Along with the kind of clothes you choose to wear to enhance your
presence, you should also be mindful of where you are going to be.
Whether you are going to a party, networking event, convention, or out
to dinner, you should attempt to make your clothing fit the occasion
but at the same time avoid looking just like everyone else. I have
heard stylist repeat “no matter where you are, be the best
dressed person there”.
Conversation
The way you converse
with others is a very important part of your presence. Not only to the
person that you are talking to, but to the other people in the room
that are observing your interaction. How well do you keep the other
person’s attention? Are you attracting other people into the
conversation? These are some things that gauge your ability to attract
the attention of other people. The easier it is for you to start and
perpetuate conversations the more your presence will be noticed by
others around you.
Be easy to talk to-In Start Meaningful Conversations
I wrote some ways to start and maintain good conversations. Being a
down to earth and an easy going conversationalist enhances the force of
your presence.
Be easy to approach-Your
body is sending signals about your approachability. Being easy to
approach is mostly about body language. You should have open gestures
to the other people around you. Eye contact with others and body
positioning are indicators of your openness to being approached. A
smile, nod, or simple a greeting in passing are excellent ways to
project your confidence and draw others to yourself.
Float through the room-The
easier it is for you to maneuver through a room, the bigger the
impression you will have on the people you interact with and the other
people who witness how smoothly you can work a room. This mobility
creates a presence because it shows that your personal territory
expands as far as the room does. Those individuals who find themselves
in corners and trapped in their own personal space tend to blend into
the backdrop of the room.
Don’t Force It
In your quest to raise
and establish your presence, it is very important that you don’t
force your presence projection. There is a great difference between
those who can be THE presence in any room they walk in and those who
are crying out for attention. Your presence should come from a deep
sense of confidence and self assurance. Those individuals who try too
hard to get attention are really trying to gain the approval of others
in order to gain self confidence and self assurance. Relying on other
people to fuel your confidence is never a good idea.
Being THE presence
means being fully aware of your ability to control and effect your
atmosphere. It means having the capacity to influence everyone in the
room whether you carry on a conversation with them or not. Having
presence is having an unseen power that is a strong mix of confidence,
assertiveness, and attractiveness that seems to spark the interest of
everyone else in the room.
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