There are many different ways to persuade people to your way of thinking.  Politicians, writers, and advertising companies use multiple techniques to get the masses to buy into their message.  But persuasion techniques are important for everyone to learn.

We are constantly trying to persuade others in one direction or another.  Whether it is trying to convince your friends to eat at one restaurant instead of another, or getting your boss to give you a raise, being able to persuade other people is important.

Ancient Greek philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle understood the power of persuasion.   They used persuasion (rhetoric) to win support from the people.  In his writings, Aristotle outlined three elements of persuasion; logic, emotion and character. 
 

A lot has changed since the fifth century B.C. and many new persuasion techniques have been developed.  But do they really work?  I set up a challenge to test 5 common persuasion techniques to see if they really work.

Persuasion vs. Manipulation

There is a difference between persuasion and manipulation.  Being persuasive is having social influence to move others to your way of thinking.  Manipulation is usually always unethical and does not pay off in the long run.  While doing my research for some of the best persuasion techniques, I found that many of them were borderline manipulation tactics. 

Manipulation uses other people’s emotions against them.  It involves making people do something that they obviously don't want to do.  If you’ve been manipulated, you understand that feeling.  Giving misinformation, reducing others to ‘things’ instead of people, and attempting to control are all characteristics of manipulation.  Here are some other common manipulation tactics to watch out for,

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How comfortable are you with approaching strangers?  Are you able to take a risk and not think twice or are you getting nauseous just thinking about it?  We all know that in order to accomplish more, we need to expand our comfort zone and challenge ourselves. So why is it so difficult to do?

I used to be afraid to leave my comfort zone.  About 5 years ago I realized that there was a direct correlation between my comfort zone and my level of success.  Once I understood that staying in my comfortable guaranteed a mediocre life, I began to look for ways to challenge myself and expand my zone.  

For me, getting out of my comfort zone is an essential part of life.  Now, I tend to find the things that are difficult or challenging.  I get bored easily which has helped me take on more challenges.  I still have my comfort zone that I sometimes fall back into, but now I able to recognize when it begins to happen.  

Face the Fear

Most of the things we fear are things that have not happened yet or are unlikely to happen.  It’s amazing how much of an affect something that hasn’t happen can have on a person.  If you tend to be afraid of the unknown, creating a best case and worst case scenario list is a great way to dissolve that fear.  Here is how it works.

Write down the things that you are afraid of. Then write down the worst case scenario of that fear.  Then, on another piece of paper write the best case scenario. For example, if you are having doubts about an upcoming presentation at work, the worst case scenario may be, 

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The Change Blindness Phenomenon and How to Stop it From Ruining Your Plan

Experiments have been done to see if people would notice subtle differences in two identical pictures.  Researchers would show the subject a picture then the exact same picture would then flash but with a change to a significant item in the picture.  Many people have a problem finding the changes.  It’s one thing to not notice an item that has changed in a picture, but it is a completely different thing to have that change happen in real life.

Watch this Change Blindness Video

75% of the people did not notice the change!  I thought that was amazing and I wondered if I would have noticed the difference.

Changes in Our Daily Lives        

Watching this made me think about changes in our daily lives.  Most people feel as though they have a great understanding of how things change in their lives.  But I wonder how often change happens without us even realizing it.  Change blindness is a visual phenomenon but wonder if the same thing can be applied to other parts of our perception.

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Life is full of give and takes.  But when it comes to criticism, most people would rather give than take.  People react differently when they are criticized.  Some people get angry while others may lose confidence in themselves.  Then there are some who can take criticism and apply it in a positive way.  My goal in this article is to help you become one of those people.

Giving criticism can be as difficult as taking criticism.  If your intentions are good but the delivery is not, your message will not be well received.  When that happens, the person will not have the opportunity to improve.  Instead, the feedback may be seen as an attack.  That is why understanding how to give criticism in a constructive way is so important.

The Magic of Feedback

Getting feedback is a valuable tool for self improvement.  Sometimes it is hard to hear that you are not perfect but the truth is, you’re not.  When I was a child, I couldn’t stand to hear that I was doing something incorrectly.  Now, I constantly ask for feedback because I realize that it really does help me improve myself.

If you are going to try to do anything worthwhile in life, you will be criticized.  Even if you choose not to do anything worthwhile, you may still be a target of criticism.  People who are unable to handle feedback well are unlikely to reach their full potential.  They miss out on the experiences and insights of others.  Learning how to take criticism constructively is big step towards improving your performance and effectiveness in all areas of your life.

I have decided to collect as much information on this topic as possible and I’ve separated them so that you will have a situation followed by how to give and take constructive criticism in that situation,

For the Friend-How to address an issue with a friend without losing them.

For the Blogger-For all of you bloggers out there, this will help you to handle negative feedback.

For the Artist/Performer-This is for artist, musicians, speakers, and anyone else who presents their craft to an audience.

For the Employee-If you would like to know how to talk to a fellow employee or boss about their habits or actions, this section is for you.

For the Employer-Being in charge means that you will have to give criticism and sometimes it means that you need to take some too.

For the Romantic Relationship-Giving feedback the wrong way in this situation could lead to a major argument.  Learn how to dish it and take it in this section.

For the Friend

Friends are supposed to be able to talk to each other open and honestly.  But giving criticism the wrong way may offend a very important person in your life.  Saying “no offense” before or after a harsh criticism won’t make it any less painful.  Here are some ways to give and take constructive criticism without ruining a friendship.

It’s Monday morning and you have hit the “snooze” button twice and now its finally time to get out of bed.  Eyes still closed, your feet slide across the floor on your way to the bathroom as you think,

“4 more days until its Saturday again, I have two more months until my vacation, and there is another 37 years until I retire. “

How is it that some people can get out of bed early and start their day with a smile while others don’t speak in the morning until they get to work?  I used to wonder about this all the time when I was a late sleeper.  Now that I am an early riser and have been for years, I can’t imagine waking up late.

Years ago, I used to hate being awake before 11 a.m.  The waking up process was always a slow one for me.  A job that required me to wake up earlier forced me to become an early riser. I’ve been waking up early for many years now but I wondered if I could improve my productivity and overall lifestyle by waking up at an extremely early time.

The 3 A.M. Experiment

I decided to try to wake up at 3 am for a week without hating it.  I wanted to track results in productivity, how I felt throughout the day.  I also wanted to find out if I had the discipline to do it. It was going to be hard but I felt that if I could develop a routine, it may go a little smoother.

I made the decision to do this challenge on Monday so I decided to start the very next morning.  I knew that waiting until the following Monday allowed too much time for me to talk myself out of it.  I don’t drink coffee and my morning tea is decaffeinated so I made sure to continue that practice so that I didn’t have a crutch for this experiment.

Tuesday

“Buzz, buuuzzz, beep beep beep beep!” Day one of my extreme early riser experiment and I’m already regretting the decision.  Today’s task is to write and answer emails.  I like writing and answering emails from visitors so the experience should be pleasant.

The day started slowly as my body was not used to waking up this early.  But after a few minutes of “man, this was a bad idea” I worked my way to my pc and began answering emails.  I was working on an article so I worked on that until about 4:45am.  Then it was off to clear my head.  I went back to my bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed and said my prayers and meditated for about 20 minutes.  I felt good and I wasn’t tempted to lay down for a quick 5 minute rest. Read more ->

Have you ever seen the game of chicken played in a movie or in real life?  The game is played by two people in order to determine who is tougher.  In the movies, two guys in fast cars face off and drive towards each other at high speeds until one of them “chickens out” and swerves at the last second narrowly avoiding a deadly crash.  The winner of the game is the one who did not flinch.

In the past few days I’ve had several conversations with people on the topic of fear.   Fear is a common part of the human existence.  But the more I live and try to stretch myself, the more I believe that fear is not supposed to be a part of our daily lives.  Especially the type of fear that stops our growth, advancement, and effectiveness.

Like most people, I’ve had to deal with fear.  My past fears held me back from opportunities that were potentially life changing.  Once I realized how much fear influenced me and prevented me from achievement, I took action.

I have adopted a practice in the last few years of playing ‘chicken’ with

irrational fear.  What this means is that if I find that there is an irrational fear in my life, I’ll identify it, isolate it, then I run towards it at high speed until the fear flinches.   In this article I will show how you can challenge and overcome the irrational fears in your life.

I Must Warn You

At the end of this post there is list of challenges that you can do to combat the fear.  The list consists of beginner, intermediate and advanced fear fighting challenges.  I suggest that you subscribe or bookmark this post so that once you get your fear fighting muscles up; you can come back and attempt more difficult challenges.

Although some of the fears in the challenges do not apply to me, I have done everything in them so I can relate to some of the discomfort that is felt.  I can also say that there is a liberating feeling that follows any challenge that is completed.  I’ve decided to choose 3 types of fears that I’ve researched are some of the most common fears.  These are also fears that I seem to get questions in my email about.
               

Opportunity Cost

What are you afraid of and what is it costing you now and what has it costs you in the past?  The term opportunity cost is an economic term that is the value of the next best alternative forgone as the result of making a decision.  In other words, what are you missing out on by making one decision as opposed to another?

Most people have regrets in life of some kind.  How many of those regrets are a direct result of some kind of fear.  Some of those fears go back to when they were in high school.  Here are some common regrets people have.

-Missed an opportunity to have a great relationship because of a fear of rejection.

-Never went after your dream job or career because of a fear of failure.

-Lost a good relationship because of a fear of commitment.

-Missed a business opportunity due to a fear of risk.

-Did not act on an opportunity purchase something that you really wanted because of the fear of making a decision.

-Allowed yourself to be mistreated because of the fear of conflict.

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Have you ever seen a trail of ants going from one destination to another?  They seem to have a great sense of direction and are intensely focused on where they are going and what needs to get done.  Even though ants are responsible for so many tasks, they always seem to accomplish everything they set out to do.  Because of their success principles, if ants were human, they would be the most successful group of people on the planet.  So how is it possible that such a tiny creature can achieve so much?

I once heard speaker Jim Rohn talk about the ant philosophy.  He explained their ability to never give up and how they prepare for the future.  I decided to take a closer look the ant and found that there are many more principles that they live by that, if applied to the human life, would almost guarantee success.

Fearless Persistence

Ants are remarkably persistent. If they are on their way somewhere, they are focused and determined to get there not matter the obstruction. They often scale great heights and travel long distances in order to get to food.  No obstacle is too big to conquer.  If an ant comes across a morsel of food too big to carry, it will find a way to summon other ants and they will work tirelessly until they have broken the food down to a size that is more manageable.

Persistence pays off in the human world also.  Persistence is a common trait that almost all successful people share.  Billionaire businessman Paul J. Meyer said, “90% of failure comes from quitting.  I’ve seen so many people, that if would’ve turned one more corner or just wait one more day, they’ve have it.”

Fearless persistence means fighting each challenge to the end.  It means looking at the things that are in the way of your goals and resolving to overcome it no matter what!  It may mean going under, over, around, and through just about anything to reach your destination.  Just like an ant, you cannot let the size of the obstacle stop you from reaching your goal.

Stay Self-Motivated

There is no other group of animals that is more efficient, effective, and motivated.  They seem to always be focused and working towards the common goals of building and repairing the nest, collecting and distributing food, and caring for eggs.  But although they have a queen, she does not direct the actions of the other ants. read

Perform Under Pressure

There is something special about someone who can perform when the stakes are high and time is short.  There’s something very heroic about Michael Jordan stealing the ball from Karl Malone, taking the ball up court, and hitting a last second shot as his defender stumbles to the floor.  We love to see the dauntless doctor on television spring into action to rescue the patient whose vital signs are dropping at a rapid pace.  Or the firefighter who is able to maintain a certain level of focus even though flames and smoke threaten to consume him alive.

Why does it seem like every time you commit to changing a bad habit, something happens that tests just how committed you are?  You start a diet, and then you get a call from a friend who wants to go to your favorite restaurant.  Or sometimes you promise yourself you are going to immediately start on an assignment that has to get done but you end up procrastinating until the very last minute?  These types of things are common and one of the major reasons why they occur to all of us is due to the lack of self-discipline.

Revolutionist, brilliant military strategist, fearless solider, charismatic speaker, tyrant, all of these words could be used to describe the life of the French emperor Napoleon Bonaparte.  One thing that is undeniable is that Bonaparte was an astounding leader.  This Corsican born soldier who was teased as a child for not being able to speak proper French, showed fearless determination on the battle field and an extraordinary ability to lead people which enabled him to raise to become the of emperor of France by the age of 34.  read